Divorced Fathers Network
 
Lessons for Divorced Fathers Network

Divorced Fathers Network
Advocates Of Shared Parenting
'Because Children Love Both Their Parents'

Basic Business Principles for Parents (from "Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolina Ricci)

  • Effective businesspeople keep their feelings in check. They don't mix business with pleasure, or with displeasure.

  • Effective businesspeople conduct business through an orderly give-and-take in which both adhere to a common set of courtesies and expectations.

  • Effective businesspeople say what they mean and mean what they say.

  • Effective businesspeople expect proof of sale or agreement.

  • Effective businesspeople give the other person the benefit of the doubt, but nevertheless expect delivery of promised goods and services.

  • Business flourishes with reasonable flexibility and support.

  • Business works with good communications.

  • Business works best when people know how to negotiate and solve problems.

  1. Keep your feelings in check. In business, it's understood that one's feelings are separate from the job that needs to be done, or the goal that one is trying to achieve. Accusations, rudeness and a fiery temper can get one fired from a job.

  2. Be orderly. Courtesies and expectations can include regular schedules, making appointments, protocols, appropriate business hours, clear record keeping and memo writing. Bringing up past conflicts can get in the way of the business at hand. Writing a memo at the end of a meeting/conversation can help avoid confusion or false claims later on.

  3. Make no assumptions. Make sure everything is explicit and in writing. With verbal agreements, it's a good idea to get confirmation or a corrected version from the other parent, even for something as seemingly simple as date and time of child exchange.

  4. Give the other parent the benefit of the doubt. For instance, don't assume that rumors you hear regarding the other parent or your children are accurate. Another example is assuming the other parent's tardiness to a child exchange is a deliberate attempt to ruin your plans.

  5. Use businesslike communications. A professional and polite demeanor is one aspect of businesslike communications. Another is making sure an unauthorized third party is not involved in the communication chain (for instance, the children).

  6. Don't take the other parent for granted. If trust has been an issue, and some rebuilding has occurred, don't take this as a sign that it's OK to stop using businesslike principles.

  7. Double-check your verbal understandings. A bad memory and possible mistrust of the other parent are two compelling reasons to verify verbal agreements. This can be done verbally by saying, "Let me double-check this." Then repeat your understanding of the agreement in detail. And add, "Have I got that right?" Double-checking verbal agreements can also be done in writing, with memos, notes and letters. This can prevent problems, and can also build trust and respect between the parents.

Contact DFN by: phone: 831-335-5855
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    Email:steve@divorcedfathers.org

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