Tips from Fathers to Fathers

1. Don't isolate yourself
2. Join a DFN group
3. Keeping a journal keeps the facts straight forever
4. Set and clarify your goals
5. Use humor whenever possible
6. Get the finances in order
7. Take care of yourself, exercise, rest, vacation
8. Limit risks and watch out for setups
9. Get involved in your children's after school activities
10. Find a mentor--learn from someone who lives the solution
11. Watch out for the ex-partner’s buttons and triggers
12. Be patient, things will change
13. Resentment/Rage, Acceptance, Hope/Healing
14. Get acquainted with the children's teachers, doctors, friends, and friends parents
15. Be proactive--begin with the end in mind, put most important things first, think and act win/win, seek first to understand--then be understood.
16. Pick your fights carefully and don't sweat the small stuff
17. Stay out of the adversarial family law court system
18. Use mediators, collaborative attorneys, or conflict resolution centers
19. Detach from your former partner--don't expect her to be a resource
20. Watch out for depression, suicidal thoughts, excessive anger, and resentment
21. Understand SARAH, coping with loss - Shock/Denial, Anger
22. When communication is rough, keep it brief. Discuss only the important stuff

Suggestions from fathers to fathers
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